Bill Clinton's

Personal Definitions of the following medical terms:

Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door of a cafeteria
Barium - What a doctor does when a patient dies
Bowel - A letter like a, e, i, o, or u
Caesarean Section - Neighborhood in Rome
Cat Scan - Looking for Kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
D & C - Where Washington is
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker
Genital - Not a Jew
G.I. Series - Soldier ball game
Hangnail - Coat hook
Impotent - Distinguished
Labor Pains - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - Was aware of
Outpatient - A person who fainted
PAP Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - A cousin of Elvis
Post-operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - A place to do upholstery
Rectum - Dang near killed 'em
Seizure - Roman Emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumor - More than one
Urine - Opposite of you're out (also opposite of mine)
Varicose - Nearby
Vein - Conceited